Hayley Rathburn’s Blog

This I Believe

            I am not the typical high school student. I get incredible happiness from performing on a stage instead of from participating in a sport. I get greater pleasure from reading a book than going to a party. Rather than thinking about what to do on a Friday night, I think deeply about life and all its complexities. I’m not very familiar with current popular music because my I-pod is filled with artists most people my age have never heard of like Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, or Billie Holiday. I am perfectly content with staying home on a weekend night and watching an old movie with my little sister. Overall, I really don’t fit in with the crowd.

From a very early age I noticed that most people are constantly trying to conform to one version of what they believe an acceptable person should be like. On this topic, famous actor, writer, and director Woody Allen once said, “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” There have been moments where I have felt just like that. I’ve wanted to change and slip in with the group just to feel “normal”. And at my lowest times, there have always been two people there to help guide me.

My mom and dad have continually instilled in me the belief that being unique, and perhaps even quirky, is a very good thing. There was one occasion about a year ago where I came home from school almost in tears because of comments directed toward me. So, my mom took out a sheet of notebook paper and started making a list. She titled the paper with two words: “You are”. Underneath the title she wrote out over twenty characteristics that make me who I am. The list included things like “sensitive”, “insightful”, “thankful”, “caring”, “a daughter to be proud of”, and “a sister to be looked up to.” She handed me the sheet of paper and told me never to forget these things about myself, and that I should be very happy with the person I am. She said people will always have unkind things to say, so I needed to learn to accept myself, despite my dissimilarities with others. Every time an incident such as this has happened, my dad would call me his “Hayley Ella girl” and say that he loved me and that I was an outstanding and special human being. Over the years, these kind and loving words have made me come to a conclusion.

Rather than hiding in the shadows, I believe in stepping out onto the stage with a single spotlight pointed on me. There is nothing wrong with being different. My quirks and gifts should be embraced. And if I’m standing all alone, at least I’m being true to who I am. This I believe.